There was a period of about an hour Saturday evening in which the phrase "I can't even" essentailly epitomized every fiber of my being. Ava, Alayna, Dallas, I, and some other friends who happened to stop by had a little impromptu meetup outside the main stage at VidCon. There were no crazy lines, no bombastically passionate fangirls wanting to literally punch someone in the face to get a piece of us. No. Instead there were about 20 or so people who came to talk over the 90 minutes we spent out there. They didn't come to get a signature and leave. They came to talk. And talk we did. I had about a 20 minute conversation with a girl named Anna. We talked about everything from how I got to where I am on YouTube, tips for starting a channel, and in general just following and doing the things that make us the most happy. I could tell from the moment she said "I actually had a few questions" that we were about to get real. And I love that. I got to know someone, and she got to know me. That's why I do this, to live and learn along side of all those who choose to jump on this crazy emotional spaceship that is my YouTube channel and blast off into wherever the crap we're going. The support that I was fortunate enough to get from those who came and talked to me made me want to be better. I know I have so much more to give to this community, so much more that I can be doing. And I want to do it. I want to work 60 hours a week and squeeze every bit of passion I have into each and every video, whether it's one I spent days on or one I just filmed on the floor. Because this is me at my most honest. This is me at my most real. And there are people who actually care about that, and who are rooting for me, which at times is hard to see. After the meetup, we went and ate at CPK which for real was painful because literally everyone who worked there was the most attractive human. During the meal, I kinda drifted off every once in a while, reflecting on the entirety of the VidCon experience thus far and how it feeds the big picture of my life. It was euphoric. I cried, I laughed, I loved, I hurt, I freaked out, I reconnected with people I had NO idea would be there. And I love that. I love that even thinking about this has brought a tear to my eye. I love that the feelings hit me multiple times this weekend and I had to stop, hug someone, and tell them how beautiful they and this moment are. I love that when the universe was unfair to a friend, that I could be there for them. I love that I was so confident in myself and my feelings so much. I trust myself. I trust the process that has lead me from a wildly unconfident, long haired boy at VidCon 2012, to the over the top, perpetually vulnerable, lover of the entire experience man that was at this VidCon 2014. The choices I've made, which to be honest I've been doubting recently, have been the right ones. I am doing the right things for my life. To place the focus on love, on bettering myself, and doing the things that make me feel the most complete as a person. That's why I'm here. I'm gonna finish this off with something that Mike Falzone told me on the first night of being here. He said, "There are always a million reasons not to do something. At some point, you just gotta jump." I'm about to jump. DFTBA -Connor